We did it!

There are 2 big projects I am working on, one is weaning Aliya and the second is getting her into her crib. Rob and I decided to tackle them together and dive head first into the challenge. I nursed Aliya as usual at 8:15 and by 8:30 we put her to bed in her crib, in her own room. We both went in together to sing her Baby Beluga and lay her down. She smiled at us turned on her side and went to bed. I couldn’t believe it. Not one single fuss from her as if she was thinking, ‘finally I have my own bed, what took you guys so long!’ She woke up at midnight hungry, rob prepared a bottle of formula and tried to feed her. She was not having it. ‘Seriously guys, I’m in my own bed but don’t hold out on the food, come on!’ We did, we held out. Rob laid her back in bed without filling her belly and she turned over and went back to sleep, hungry. At 3:30 she awoke again and again she refused the bottle, my heart sank and I had to nurse her. She was doing so good sleeping in her crib, I couldn’t deprive her of food anymore. I nursed my little starving baby and laid her in her crib at 4. She stayed asleep until 8am! It was incredible. I was expecting a sleepless night with crying and torture and guilt but instead I received sleep, so much sleep. I haven’t slept to peacefully since she was born and neither has she. Essentially she only woke up at 12 and at 3:30, that’s twice! When she was in bed with us, I nursed her at least 5 times and sometimes up to 8 times a night, this was amazing. We repeated it again last night, She woke up at 12 and 4. I nursed her both times after she refused the bottle. We are going to keep trying with the weaning but as far as sleeping in her own bed, she did it!

Daddy and his baby

No Daddy loves their baby as much as Ali's dad loves her.

Beautiful

Fire, Friends and Fun

We met up with Becca, Harvey and Alastair for a day out on Saturday. We went antiquing; which is another way of saying I went shopping for expensive used stuff. I thought everything was mislabeled, as if they added an extra zero or two to the end of the price. The broach is $95 but maybe they meant $9.50 which still seems high so maybe it’s suppose to be .95? I mean its not made of real stones, its costume jewelry. I just don’t have an eye for it but Becca, she totally gets it. A self proclaimed ‘old lady’ she can spot the treasure in the pieces that I just pass by or pass off. After she pulled the $95 broach from the case where is was lost amidst all the other shiny objects, I was able to see it, the clear and black stones winding into each other like a zebra print carefully set in tarnished silver to create a leaf, it was beautiful and I had missed it, passing its value off to mere cents. Still not worth $95 in my opinion but no longer junk as I had believed it to be. For lunch we went to a Japanese Steak house. Ali was enthralled for a few minutes as the chef tossed knives in the air and made a big fire. After he messed up a few times Becca and I were a little weary keeping our babies there, rightfully so, Alastair ended up with shrimp flung at him. It didn’t stop him from showing off his walking skills later in the day! I can’t believe he is walking and Ali is crawling, we’ve come a long way. Rob played flying baby with Ali in the mall. She went nuts for it, she laughed so much it wore her out and she fell asleep.

Watching the chef throw knives

Walking Alastair

Flying Ali

babies and daddies

Marinara

Ali and I went to visit Grandma Joan and Grandpa George. Of course we had a fabulous time, as always. I learned how to make authentic Italian Marinara sauce from scratch. It was lovely. I’m sorry but I can’t (under strict orders) give the recipe, it’s a secret family treasure that I have been privileged enough to be trusted with. I also saw the recipe for authentic mac and cheese, we didn’t make but I will tell you it involves 2 dozen eggs! Who’d’ve thunk it? We also took Ali for a long walk around their neighborhood. They live on ‘the pink streets’ of St Pete. It is the only neighborhood with pink streets and they are so neat. I love them, it gives the place such a feel of home. Grandma Joan pointed out all the original houses in the neighborhood, they have been living there for 35 years. One of the houses had an aviary outside that was bigger than our whole apartment, unfortunately there were no birds in the aviary. It was such a pleasant time. I can’t wait to go back and learn something new.

Day with Grandma

Ali and I went and spent the day with her Grandma today. We went to Cafe Don Jose, plantains, chicken and yellow rice and a trout a la rusa later mom was still holding Ali. Ali slept on her for the whole lunch and woke up only to drop several peas, some down her shirt and moms shirt, but none into her mouth.
We love spending the day with you mom, my most loyal blog reader. I'm so glad you were the first to see Aliya crawl. Aliya loves you and I love you so anytime you want to hang out, we're game!
No one seems to want to comment on my blog, but I am reaching out to you mom. Leave a comment, I am hoping if I can walk you through the first time you and everyone will leave a comment. All you have to do is click the comment link below. A pop up window will appear. Sign in with a google or yahoo account (both free) and leave a comment, then click publish. Viola! If its too hard, just leave a note on in the shout box to the right!

Baby Crawls

We have a crawling baby! Its not even a partial crawl but a full on crawl, the hand-hand-knee-knee-hand-hand-knee-knee type of crawl. So far I haven’t been able to get her to crawl more than a few feet and only if you entice her with keys or she’s trying to reach the coveted electric outlet, computer cord or dvd shelf. Its time to baby proof the house, uurgh. Rob is excited about this monumental task, it sounds dreadful to me.

I am so proud of my crawling baby. As she reaches her milestones I feel as if I have reached one as well. Speaking of which, there should be mom milestones, things like ‘Had the guts to nurse a fussy teething baby who likes to bite’ ‘Had the guts to nurse a baby after she bites (ouch!)’ or ‘Had the guts to change a poopy diaper in the backseat of a car and did it without making a mess’ or ‘Had the guts to watch as your baby crawls for the first time and didn’t become a blubbering mess as she did it’

I love that Ali is doing so much more, the crawling, the clapping and the waving its all to much yummieness for me to handle. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

A day apart

In the last 8 months Aliya and I have not spent a day apart. We have spent all 248 days together (528 days if you count pregnancy). We wake up together and we go to sleep together. There have been a few hours here and there that she was stolen from me by her some loving member of the family but all in all we have spent all 5900+ hours together since she was born. Yesterday, the fateful day had arrived; I had to leave her for the whole day. I was doing pretty good knowing she was staying with my grandmother. I knew she was safe and secure but I worried she’d miss me. I knew I was going to miss her. Throughout the day I called to check in and every time I called I was greeted with news of her happiness. “Aliya is playing.” “Aliya is smiling.” “Aliya is laughing.” “Aliya is happy.” What great news, my daughter is a happy well adjusted baby that can handle being away from her mom. Yay…? I mean, that should make me happy, shouldn’t it? I came home that evening and when Aliya saw my face she gave me precious smile and turned away from me and cuddled into her maaji. No big leap into my arms, no ‘where have you been all day’ look on her face, she was fine just where she was; she was with her maaji, she was happy. For the record, I missed her. I thought of her ever second and when I got home I wanted nothing more than to cuddle with her and kiss ever inch of her.

Sunday

Ever have one of those days that was just perfect? I did, it was this past Sunday. I woke up to Aliya kicking me repeatedly in the back. There was something about the ease in which I got up and did our morning ritual of changing, tooth brushing, and face washing that set the day into perpetual bliss. Aliya and I made coconut blueberry muffins and as Rob awoke to the smell wafting through the air he was also sucked in to the ease of it all. Rob and I talked about the chores (namely vacuuming, moping, laundry, new bed sheets) we needed to accomplish before the day was out but we took a different approach than our normal grudging procrastinating one we usually head down; and with mop and vacuum in hand we tackled them, right then, with smiles on our faces and a bounce in our step. A couple of hours and loads of laundry later we plopped on the couch still in pj’s with all the chores done. Lunch was approaching so we headed to the kitchen, improvised a new recipe and with the ebb and flow of the ocean we worked seamlessly together, never getting in each others way and collaborating to come up with a delicious new dish. Now this is a story about my perfect day so it obviously includes a hour and a half late afternoon nap while Rob played with Ali, which was so rejuvenating. As I bathed, dressed, feed and got Ali ready for bed, Rob made dinner. I then took a long soak in the tub and got out just in time to see the Saints beat the Vikings in overtime for a spot in the Superbowl (congrats Aunt Teri, sorry Rob). Rob and I headed to bed a bit past midnight and as we were drifting off to sleep our little angel woke up and wanted to play. Now normally this wouldn’t seem like the perfect ending to the perfect day, but it was. The three of us cuddled in bed and played with her turtle that projects the night sky on the ceiling. I think this will be a day I remember for eternity. It was the type of day that will stand out when I look back on my life. Just the three of us being us; on a normal, average, common, ordinary, perfect day.

7 Wonders

Have you ever seen the decks of cards that have a different questions printed on them meant to spark conversation to fill those awkward moments of silence when you are out with people? Rob and I stumbled upon one of those decks in a shop at the mall. I randomly picked up one of the cards and the question put forth was ‘In your opinion, what are the 7 wonders of the world?’ I am sure it meant to mean things like the Taj Mahal, the Pyramids, Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, and the Great wall of China. My mom always used to talk about the real 7 wonders of the world when I was little. We were going to see all of them together one day. As Rob and I contemplated the list we started to come up with other ‘wonders’ like the bread, the bra, the land, -wall, -ful, who wrote the book of love and the woman (you know the one with the red, yellow and blue spandex outfit). As we played this game I started to contemplate about all of the real wonderful things in my life. Here is my top 7 list of wonderful wonders I wonder how I ever lived without.

1. Cell Phones- what a God send. Does anyone else remember pagers with codes like 143, 123, 07734 and 14. And what about God Awful payphones, you had to have a quarter with you at all times. Yay for not having to pull into shady gas stations to call home at night!

2. GPS- I have to say that reading a map is a skill I am glad I have but seriously how amazing are GPS? No more looking up to see where the sun is in the sky to tell which way you are heading, which is really hard at noon and at night; just consider yourself lost at those times, man up and ask for directions. This is no longer an issue with GPS. No more pulling over to ask. I think we are so reliant on GPS that even if we did stop for directions no one would know they'd say “Hold on let me pull up map quest.”

3. Internet- I know this is a massive one but I am specifically referring to using it for reference. Dewy decimal system anyone? Did anyone else only have the first volume of every encyclopedia because they sold it for 99 cents but none of the other volumes?

4. Disposable Diapers- they are disposable, enough said!

5. High thread count sheets- I’m obsessed, read more about it here

6. Digital Cameras- I was so excited when advantix came out because you no longer had to use 35mm and wind it up but digital is a whole other level. My specific camera is also shock proof, water proof and freeze proof. Read more about it here.

7. crystal light- a zero calorie yummy hydrating powdered goodness.

Leave a comment and let me know what the 7 wonderful wonders you wonder how you ever lived without are!

7 wonders of Aliya

1. Her sweet eyes

2. Her chubby cheeks, Buddha belly and marshmallow rolls on her neck and thighs

3. Her hands, fingers and toes

4. Penelope

5. Her little chompers

6. Her smile and giggle

7. Her temperament- have you ever met a happier, sweeter baby?

I could go on and on, there are a million wonders of Aliya.

　

Aliya is 8 months old today!

Aliya is 8 months old today. Aliya is such a sweet doll. I can’t believe she is 2/3 of the way to her first birthday. Over the last few weeks her personality is really starting to emerge. It is such a joy to have her in my life and I fall in love with her ever time I see her. She is our little princess and I am so thankful for her. I can’t believe she is 8 months already. What’s so great about this stage is she is getting so much more independent. She wants to do things herself but, of course, she is still a baby so she is hopelessly dependant at the same time. Aliya is unbelievably curious about everything, she loves to touch and feel anything and everything and she still likes to put it all in her mouth.
Some facts about Aliya-
Number of teeth- 6, yes, six! 4 up top and 2 down below. See pic below
Things she laughs at- Madison, swinging around, being tossed in air and herself in the mirror.
Birthmarks- one on the left side of her belly, named Penelope.
Favorite toy- her blocks, I bought them on a whim but they turned out to be a great purchase and her ghee-maki, read about it here.
Diaper Size- Surprisingly a 4, she is getting so big!
Shoe size- 3
Clothes size- 9 months but heading to 12 soon
Favorite thing to say- Dada, I am not sure is she knows what it means b/c she says it all the time eben when her dada is not home.
Favorite place to sleep- between mom and dad, of course!
Mobility- rolling and stretching and twisting and turning to get where she need to go but not crawling yet, she is up on all fours though. See her pic below
Number of naps a day- 2, one at 10:30 and one at 3:30 bedtime is at 8:30
Favorite food- NONE, she hates baby food, but she likes anything baby bird style from mommy’s mouth.
Tickle spots- hip and ribs
Favorite show- Sesame street
Favorite song- Baby Beluga

Berry Banana Gum

Do you ever feel as if no matter how fast you work, or how much you get done there is just so much more to do. As if you are standing on the surface of the glacier and chipping away and as long as you are above water you feel like you’ve done a lot but under the sea is a mountain so large that you don’t know how you’ll ever shrink it. Maybe global warming is the answer. It literally melts glaciers maybe it can metaphorically melt them too. Wishful thinking. In my day I not only care for my beautiful daughter I do a whole list of mundane chores. I keep afloat as they all get done one by one but there are these moments where there some sort of set back that makes you feel as if you are drowning. This morning is was the pack of berry-banana gum that landed itself in the laundry. All I wanted to do was switch the stuff from the washer (which was washed about 18 hrs earlier) to the dryer before funny things started to grow on our clothes and rancid smells took over. As I start to pull the clothes out of the dryer (which were dried about 24 hours ago) out comes a mess of rolled up paper, sticky ewwy geewy conglomerations of gum and strange pieces of something I couldn’t identify (gum wrapper, maybe?) It was everywhere. This wasn’t one piece that fell in but a jumbo size pack that was full (I am assuming with only 1 piece removed). The inside of the dryer was coated in this sticky mess. Have any of you tried to clean the inside of a dryer before? It is not easy. The gum which had been dried onto the inside left scuff marks all around the dryer. A full 360° around. Now, I have a crying baby, clothes that desperately need to be dried and a dryer full of stick goo. I debated weather or not to just leave it and dry my clothes in there anyway but used better judgment and started to clean. I didn’t want to have to do it later when it had been dried on through 2 cycles of heat. I read the other day that used dryer sheets are great on scuff marks, such as crayons on tables or shoe marks on a floor. I used it to clean the dryer, the irony. It worked relatively well. I did however accompany it with some elbow grease and muscle. Its still not perfect but “good enough” for the time being. The scales tipped in Aliya favor at the point when my arms were sore and the marks were more of a light gray than the dark black and red that they once were. To the culprit…check those pockets or you’ll be cleaning the dryer next time!

P.S. this doesnt include what was in the lint trap.

Queen or King

Why is it the smaller you are the proportionately larger share of the bed you use. We have a lovely queen size bed that has suited us fine, but recently with Aliya sneaking between us every night it seems as if there just isn’t enough square footage. I suppose Rob and I aren’t exactly as slim as we used to be but with Aliya only being 20 lbs how is it she uses 35% of the bed? Madison at 50ish lbs takes up another 25%. With the remaining 40% of the bed left I take the lions share and poor Rob is left with hardly and bed or covers at all. The other night I looked over at him and his arm was on the night stand and his leg was holding up the wall. At least we know it won’t fall down on us at night. I think it is time Aliya moved to a crib and Maddi starts using her bed! Or, we can just upgrade to a king size bed. My reservations with this are, in a room that barely holds our queen bed, how will we fit in a king. Now a king size bed in the right room, such as my parents or mother in laws room, no problem, but in our room? I am not sure we will be able to walk. And my second problem is the most important, I have finally and painstakingly accumulated 4 sets of good quality high thread count sheets in size queen. You know the kind that you slip into and instantly melt. The pure luxury of it. I don’t think I could ever go back to 200 count standard sheets. I mean you spend so much of your life in bed shouldn’t it be heavenly? If we move to a King bed I will have no good sheets. I don’t think I could take that kind of misery. So for now we will all squeeze into our bed with limbs hanging off the side, Aliyas foot in my rib and Madison laying between our legs but at least we will be between the most comfortable sheets.

Inspiration

I have been inspired and not in the cliché meaning of the word but in its truest sense. I have actually changed. It isn’t often that you are truly inspired by something, something that actually changes you and the way you live. In the past few months I have been inspired 3 times. I wish I could tell you some heartfelt story that inspired me or some touching person who reached out to me but unfortunately my inspirations are not so deep. I’ll start with an art piece I saw at the St Petersburg Museum of Art on free meusum day. It was a collage of thousands of torn pieces of tissue paper that created an amazing art work of a woman standing with an apple in her hand in front of a red backdrop. It was like nothing I have ever seen. I even contact the artist to see what other work she had and if any was for sale. Well, with a price tag of $16,000 per piece I thought I’d better just admire it from far. See her work here. By the way, the work is infinitely better in person where you can see the fibers of the tissue, its really amazing. Well, seeing her art work inspired me to get back into art, not that I was ever really ‘in’ art to begin with but I have always done something artistic, maybe not well, but at least I was trying. I have tried my hand in painting (acrylic on canvas and water color), pottery, poetry, scrapbooking (questionable if really an art form), knitting, photography, quilting, sewing, writing and now blogging (another questionable art form) and my favorite, organizing (definite art form!) Ever since 2005 when we left for med school I fell of the wagon and stopped doing anything artistic. After seeing her art piece I instantly was awakened and can’t wait to get back into it and create.

My second inspiration came from a blog I read about a photographer who is also a mother of 3 beautiful girls. She is one of the best writers I have ever read. When I read her words I am instantly transported into her life and its magical. She is an amazing mother and photographer, both things I strive to be. Her writing has inspired me to be a better mother, have more patients and take better pictures. Oh, and to write. I’m sure you have notice the blog has transformed a bit and become a place for me to write and share my thoughts.

My final inspiration is from Kate Moss, I know. I can’t believe it either, with all the inspirational people in the world it was Kate Moss who inspired me, the crack head, druggie anorexic supermodel. Weird, I know. I struggle with controlling my appetite and I have made a quote she said my mantra for weight loss. “Nothing tastes as good as it feels to be skinny.” For some reason it stuck with me. Now when I walk into the pantry I channel my inner Kate Moss and walk away. Going to school and learning about all the health risks of excess weight did nothing for me, no, but Kate Moss well she got me. By the way, who ever said breastfeeding helps with weight loss lied. I have gained more weight these last eight months I have been breastfeeding. I don’t think I am eating all that much and I am eating for 2 since Aliya eats nothing else and yet still gaining weight, explain that.

Breastfeeding discused below.. Stop reading if you don't want to see the words endowed, engorged, or boobs

I have always been well endowed to say the least. I never stuffed my bra, contrary to popular myths at multiple middle schools I attended. I have always felt cursed in a way, the grass is always greener ladies! Well, I finally understand, these boobs were made for nursing! That song keeps popping in my head “These boots were made for walking and that’s just what they’ll do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you” except my version is “These boobs were made for feeding and that’s just what they’ll do, one of these days I’ll pump a gallon or two”

I have been supremely lucky with breastfeeding, maybe too lucky. Aliya won’t eat anything else! She doesn’t want anything but ‘doothi’ (milk.)

I have never leaked, not a drop, ever! I don’t have to wear nursing pads. I have never had sore, cracked or chaffed nipple and I haven’t used lanolin since the first few weeks. I have never had mastitis or any other breastfeeding complication and I have never been engorged even after 8 hours of not feeding her, (she drank pumped milk, I’m not into starving her….yet!)

Its come so easily and been so nice and simple. I guess now I can appreciate the size EE I am, I know Aliya does. Seriously when all this breastfeeding comes to an end and the food factory is closed I am not hanging on to them. I can’t wait to be a normal C one day- just like the old days, when I was 10!

To Do

Its past midnight and I am up thinking of things I want to do, I read somewhere that writing them down and creating a list gives a sense of tangibility. This is in no order except the order in which the thoughts are coming into my head.



Go in a hot air balloon
Run a marathon… which is really odd because I HATE running, especially outside!
Do a sail and rail in Alaska
Work on my writing skills and really express myself better in words
Wear my wedding dress again
Take Rob to a super bowl, preferably one the Bucs win
Spend a week just eating takeout and ice-cream, and watching TV with Rob on a futon in the living room for a solid week, like the old days
Go movie hopping where you enter when the sun is out and leave when the moon is out
Learn to sew
Go to SeaWorld
Go scuba diving again!
Go to sandals resort
Learn to cook

Okay, so now you know what's on my to do list so I want to know whats on yours! Leave a comment and let me know! You can also email me or post a message on the shout box and I'll post it on here but I want to know! I am writing to you! Yes, You!

Snotty McSnoterson

My sick girl has still not gotten better. She has been sick for a week now. I feel so bad for her because she has no idea why she feels so crummy. The worst part is all the snot. She is so so snotty. At this moment there is snot all over her nose and mouth, her forehead, her right ear and her left eyelid. I can tell you I always judged moms whose kids were snot faced but now that I am one of them I feel bad for all those awful thoughts I had. I have tried everything to wipe her face but its like never ending snot and since she hates her face and nose wiped its impossible to keep up with. so my apologies to all you mothers out there with snot faced children, I finally get it. I took some pictures to try and show the extent of the snot and I caught one of her infamous snot bubbles she blows out of her left nostril, yummy.

Ali Cat and Mad Dog

Over the past 8 months Madison has become more and more comfortable with Aliya. At first she ignored her, then she tolerated her and now I think she is beginning to like little Ali. I am sure if Maddi had her way things would go back to pre-Aliya where she was the baby and got tons of attention but as Ali is growing and interacting more with Maddi I think we may see a swing to where Maddi is actually Aliya’s dog. Ali just loves to see and pet Maddi. She laughs hysterically when Maddi starts to do tricks. Madison now goes and lays next to her. I think one reason Maddi is loving Ali recently is all the food she drops. Its like heaven for Maddi, so many treats with no effort!

In the video below, you can see Ali clap, try to fly away with her arm raises, laugh at Maddi, Maddi doing tricks, and Maddi tolerating Aliya. Lots of good stuff!

Ghee-maki

In katchi a fly is called a maki and a bee is called a muhdmaki meaning honey-fly so I named aliya’s new butterfly toy her ghee-maki or literally butter fly. She loves her Ghee-maki. It is meant to encourage her to crawl because it rolls away and flaps its wings. She dismisses the idea and grabs it and forces it to remain in her lap. She will crawl for no one until she is ready which by the way she is getting really close! She has figured out how to get on her hand and knees and she sways back and forth and then falls. But don’t think she sits in one place and plays, no way! She is the most mobile non crawling baby ever. She can get anywhere she want to just by rolling and stretching and turning. Maybe that’s why she is not so interested in crawling, she figures what’s the point I already can get to where I want to go.

Me

I am one of those people who constantly embarrass themselves. I have tact and grace about 80% of the time, well actually I have grace a lot less than that, maybe, on a good day, 20% of the time. The rest of the time, I am a complete mess. I say the wrong things at the wrong times or I am falling or dropping things all over the place.
Things I have learned from this, never ever call a baby 'he' or 'she' because no matter how many times I am corrected I continue to use the wrong sex! Just say lovely baby! I mean what do you expect a baby that’s dressed head to toe in blue is obviously a girl, right? Or at a wonderful bridal shower where everyone has been so thoughtful and brought you tons of gifts you're not suppose to open one you particularly like and say “We know who our friends are!" Or when you are talking to someone older than you did you know it is inappropriate to say “Now-a-days…"? Once two women were telling me about their grandchildren and I looked at one of them and said “You look to young to have grandchildren” what I didn’t realize is the other women was actually younger that the women I complemented! In my small the older women actually looked 20 years younger than the younger old looking lady. I seem to always stick my foot in my mouth.
I don’t mean to but I also embarrass my self with actions like not even realizing it but buying diet books, an exercise ball and a shirt called the slimming shirt all of the same person for Christmas, who by the way is gorgeous and doesn’t need to loose a pound! Or going to a friends house and making an absolute mess by dripping icing all over their carpet, did I say dripping? Its more like pouring! and then saying "I’m not really like this I’m really neat at my house!” It seemed as if I was saying, I go to other peoples houses to make a mess but I would never do that at my own house! I also seem you fall a lot. Did you know I fell flat on my face on one of my first dates with Rob. I really lack grace. And my new thing is dropping stuff. I am not kidding when I say I drop everything! Luckily not Aliya, yet. No joke, Rob and I went grocery shopping the other day and every other item I picked up I dropped. So, there was a clean up in isle 1 and our bread is a little oddly shaped but what are you going to do?

Thari pareh chokri

Aliya is rapidly learning new "tricks",  I can't think of a better word for it. She has learned to clap. It is adorable. She actually has great control. She gets so excited sometimes she doesn't have the patients to clap so she just does arm raises rapidly. Maybe she is trying to fly!

Tumble Gym

Aliya went to her first gymnastics gym today. Our friend kristin and her daughter Elise invited us to join them along with another friend Ashley and her daughter Lola at open gym today. Aliya was the youngest kid there. We found out after we arrived that it was for kids 1-4. That didn't stop aliya though! She paid her $5 and in she went with the big kids (maybe I helped a little). She really enjoyed watching the big kids play and tumble. I sat her in the foam pit, she got to bounce when other kids jumped in around her. She thought it was so fun. She also almost thought about crawling for a second. She has not really had a desire to up until now but the last few days you can see it in her eyes, the little girl want to move!

Things I question…

Am I giving Ali enough stimulation?
Is mom going to pull through?
Are we where we are suppose to be?
Are we ever going to sell our condo?
Are we ever going to pay off our student loans?
Is Robs mom okay? Is she happy?
Is aliya going to stay on the right path as she get older?
Am I praying enough?
Are my parents going to be okay.. are they ever going to be stress free?
Is Rob going to be happy with his job?
Am I ever going to be skinny again?
Am I a good enough friend… for that matter, Am I a good enough wife, mother, daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, ect..?
Is Aliya happy?
Is Adam behaving ?
Should I take my damn boards?
Are we making the best choices for our family?
What more should I be doing?
Will we be able to have more children?
Will Ali stay healthy and safe?
Will Ali ever sleep through the night?
Will she ever eat any food worth mentioning?
Will I ever cook anything other than dar and kidney bean sak?
Will I loose interest in blogging, they way I do with all my hobbies?
Its so tough to contemplate all these issues but as I review the list I realize that most of these things are totally out of my control and there is no right answer to them. The answers are like looking in a dessert case, they all look so good but which will taste the best? The napoleon with layers of chocolate, raspberries and cream or the chocolate croissant, flaky and warm with the sweet dark chocolate slightly melted inside or the apple purse in pastry where it is all so chewy with a slight crunch when you bite into the fruit. Which one do you pick? Which will be the most satisfying and fulfilling? Its so hard to choose. Well I suppose this answers one question, I don’t think I will ever be skinny again.

Rock-a-bye-baby

As my babe tried to fall asleep she was donned with sniffles, her breathing was heavy and labored as air tried to make its way into her body and sustain her. She laid her head against my chest and listened to my heartbeat as I listened to her breathing. Her tiny warm fingers caressing my arm ever so lightly it sent chills down my back. I wasn’t even sure where she was caressing as it felt like a butterflies wing; so light, so gentle, so warm. I sat and rocked her till her body went limp and watched as she drifted off into another world; one that I hope is filled with strawberry milkshake rivers for her to play in. Neither I nor she at that moment wanted to be anywhere else. We are wrapped in each others arms, perfect, content. The world was so right and I thought of how lucky I am to be her mom. I vowed in that instant to be a better mom tomorrow than I was today. I kissed the nape of her neck in the folds between her marshmallow rolls. I love my baby and I am glad I can give her this. If nothing else, I can be her mom and love her so much that she will always feel as she did in that instant; safe, loved and secure. Tight in her moms arms, dreaming of strawberry milkshake rivers and no cares or worries in the world.

Aliya is an offical Rawji

Aliya was officially initiated into the Rawji’s yesterday. We went out to eat in some dive in Deland and as Aliya drank water from the Styrofoam cup she bit off a piece. This may not seem like a big deal to most, but it is a trait Adam and I inherited from our mom. I have been broken of the habit by Rob, but for years and years none of us was able to drink from a Styrofoam cup with out tearing it to shreds. Literally till no form of a cup remains; we slowly rip it apart piece by piece until all you have left is Styrofoam snow. It is wonderful and so satisfying to do, like finishing a puzzle or a good book as you rip the last piece you feel complete and at the same time long for more. Well Aliya has “gotten the bug” as Rob put it. And we welcome her to our clan!

Adam, Aliya and I

Taken on Adams computer at PALI.

Happy Birthday Mom!

We headed to Ruskin to celebrate moms birthday. Helen and Donald, Wayne's sister and brother, were down from Illinois visiting. Mom made delicious orange chicken. Its so good and easy to make; You saute onions in a skillet then add chicken and a can of frozen OJ. It is so so good. Aliya opened more gifts. and we ate birthday cake! We love you, mom, and we wish you a very happy birthday! We hope all your wishes come true!