Moments

The drive between the pediatricians office and Robs work is a little over a mile and has one left turn at the major intersection of Fletcher and Bruce B Downs. Aliya had a upper respiratory infection but otherwise had a good trip to the doctor, she was in a good mood as I buckled her into her carseat and turned the radio on for her since her DVD player is broken. We were on our way to pick up Rob from work so we could have a rare family lunch. The stars were aligned where Aliya and I were in the area the same time Rob had some free time for lunch. I pulled into the left turning lane to turn on to BBD when all of a sudden I just did not feel good. As I turned on to BBD everything started to go dark, as if a gray rain cloud had come across the sky and blocked out all the sun, but just for me. Norahs voice started to muffle and I felt as if I was listening to her though a pair of purple foam ear plugs I always mean to take with me on a plane but forget every time. I thought to myself, what is happening to me? I was so worried I was going to black out right there on the road, in traffic, with little Aliya in the car. I prayed. I knew I needed to make it to the VA parking lot just to make sure my baby was safe. I was almost there. Hold on just a minute longer I thought, you can make it. It got darker and the sound was almost totally gone now. The gold car in front of me was slowing down, or was it stopped, I’m not sure. The brake lights were on but was it right in front of me or did I have room. My depth perception was failing me and the lights were getting bigger. Just hold on, you are almost there, there’s the turn into the parking lot, I can see it. I can make it. I’ll keep my baby safe. Get her to her dad, I can do it. I turned. I made it. Please don’t pull out in front of me, damn you, why? Why now? Hurry please I have to make it to building 68. A three point turn? Really? Now? Please hurry. As I waited patiently for the huge SUV to get out of my way I knew I didn’t have much time. It was so dark and dull and my hearing was almost completely gone. They moved, I am in front of 68. I throw the car in park, in the middle of the road, but I knew Aliya was now safe. Now to let Rob know I’m here so he can help. Text him, I thought. But I cant see and my hands are shaking and not working. I’m slipping away and fast. I use the handy dandy speed dial to call him and leave a message, “please help, I’m about to black out, hurry, I’m at 68” or something like that. I’m not sure what I said but after the words came out I felt relieved and put my head back and closed my eyes.

Darkness.

I came to in what felt like a second later and Aliya was screaming from the back seat. I see a open parking spot right in front of me. A miracle to be honest because you can circle that parking lot for and hour and still never find a spot. I pulled in and texted Rob.

911 help outside 68! come now!
Help

I felt fine but was so scared and confused. I started to cry and Aliya stopped. She said from the back seat “Its okay, mommy”

Rob calls. I tell him to find me. He’s here and I’m saved.

Felt fine the rest of the day but I couldn’t stop playing back what happened in my mind over and over. I know I called Rob right before I blacked out and texted him as soon as I came to. It felt like seconds to me but the phone shows a period of 3 minutes between. I was blacked out longer than I thought.

Terrifying to think what would’ve happened if I blacked out on BBD while driving. Thank God I made it to the VA.

The drive down BBD was the scariest moment of my life, unsure if I was going to black out right there or if I would be able to make it to the VA. I was so worried about Aliya. It was horrifying.

This experience had me thinking of other intense experiences in my life. The freakiest thing that has ever happened to me was with Rob.
We were walking down Church Street Station in Orlando and were a few feet away from the railroad tracks that cross in the middle of the road. it’s a cloudy day but no rain. As we are walking We hear a loud crack, deafening, to be honest and a light so bright your eyes hurt to have seen it. The tracks were struck by lightening and we were so close we could feel the charge. absolutely insane moment to be so so close to something so powerful and dangerous.

The scariest time period of my life was waiting to find out how everything would go with my mom after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It wasn’t an actual moment but the whole time was scary. I wasn’t even sure if shed make it to see Aliya born and look at us now!

The most intense moment of my life was one filled with joy and happiness and disbelief. When I became pregnant with Aliya we had the normal tests done but my test came back abnormal. Very high HCG levels, not something you typically see with a viable pregnancy. We did an ultrasound but didn’t see a heartbeat. Rob and I were pretty sure the pregnancy didn’t take and there was no baby. We were leaving Florida and on our way to Cleveland. We had booked this private cabin on a train and had our cars loaded onto it. It was sure to be a fun trip with a dining cart and movie night but we weren’t in the mood. It was really a mourning trip. We had been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant and here it had finally happened and then as quickly as it came it was taken away. Once we made it to Ohio we still had a 2 hour drive into Cleveland and 2 cars. So we drove, I followed Rob, he in his car, me in mine. It was so lonely. We stopped for coffee at Starbucks and I went to the restroom. Blood. I was spotting. It was confirmed. We lost the baby. More tears. Rob was a rock for me. I was so depressed. We settled into Cleveland and had to get a repeat ultrasound to confirm the loss before we scheduled the DNC. I told Rob I’d go alone because we were both on rotations and its really hard to take time off but of course he wouldn’t have that. He came. He held my hand. We were ready for the inevitable. But what was that fluttering on the screen? That was heart beat! That was a miracle. That was our baby. Alive and well. Shock! Complete and utter shock!! It still brings tears to my eyes today to remember that heartbeat. That was all God. Dad says in all his years of being an OBGYN he has never heard of such a thing. He even consulted the periontologist who also says he never heard of such a thing. It was amazing, intense and wonderful. Aliya is wonderful. Thank you God for that heartbeat and her!