43 and done

I have a sore tailbone and my fingertips are raw, they are actually about to divorce my hands as I type this. For the last four days I have done nothing but sit and write. As a die-hard procrastinator I had no choice but to complete my entire assignment (assigned 4 months ago) from top to bottom in this fashion. Every time in my life that I have put off a monumental task and scrambled to finish it in the last minute, I look back and think ‘that wasn’t so bad, I should have saved my self all the stress and just done it earlier’ but alas you cannot deny who you are in your core and again I succumbed to months of stress culminating in one heroic effort to accomplish the impossible in the final minutes.  However, this time was different because it took more than a few long nights and constant stream of coffee. An army was needed this time; a full cast of supporting members. Kids make it impossible to focus for more than 30 seconds at a time. While Aliya was in school Mom R came and took care of Kaden. On Saturday, both Mom B and Mom R took the kids to the zoo so I could work in a quite house. Mom took Aliya back to Deland and on Sunday Maa came to take care of Kaden, missing a madjalis in the process. Rob read and reread my paper, supported the caregivers and brought me tea. I never would have finished without all of them.

               It’s weird because once I started I was 100% dedicated to completing. There was no half way, I made my decision and stuck to it. I tend to do that, go all in, when I finally make a decision. I am so very indecisive until the point of commitment. At the grocery store, the other day, I stood in front of the chicken broth for 3 minutes contemplating whether to buy low sodium or regular, I was torn between health and flavor, after the 3 minutes I ended up with one carton of each. On the other hand, when I finally went car shopping, I only test drove the car I picked, decided it was the one and stuck to my decision. I think I have a harder time with decisions because I commit completely to them.  Rob has learned it is a bad idea to send me down the ice cream aisle in Publix. The different sizes, flavors, quality, price, my favs, robs favs, aliyas favs, the new flavors, the old stand bys, excreta all contribute to my decision. I literally and figuratively freeze trying to decide what to buy. The whole wall of choices leaves me completely clueless. After 20 minutes I am still left without a hint and either end up with plain jane vanilla or a cart full of different kinds.

Btw- I completed my project and finished with a 43 page paper! That’s the longest I have written to date. Second longest - 26 pages. Did you see that… Fourty-Three pages! I never knew I had it in me. Rob of course will write an even longer paper, get a higher grade and spend a quarter of the time doing it!