Kaden's Birth Story

I was set. Determined to have this baby via scheduled c-section on May 9th. I was not going to go through that labor crap again, nope. The plan was established and nothing was going to sway me from my decision.

Mom and Dad came down for baby boys shower on Saturday April 23rd and stayed for the whole weekend. Poor Rob was on call all weekend and it was busy with phone calls and admissions. Sunday came around and we ate yummy spicy Indian food and went to Lettuce lake park. Rob took a folding chair for me because I had been having so much trouble walking; that darn rib always caused me so much pain. not that sitting was comfortable either. At this point nothing was really an ideal position. I started to walk behind the others taking a slow pace and soon realized for some reason walking felt so good to my body. If I stood still or sat down I instantly became uncomfortable so I just kept walking. It was so odd to be able to walk so much for so long and have my body actually feel good. I must have walked a mile on the boardwalk and if everyone else didn’t get tired I would’ve walked all night, it was the first time in months I felt somewhat normal. It was so beautiful at Lettuce lake. The wild life in the area is true Florida, fish, birds, gators, and bugs! Rob, Aliya, Mom and Dad were ahead of me and saw a huge owl sitting in a tree then swoop down and fly away. We all heard a gator calling loudly but never got a look at him and we really just enjoyed the scenery. After our walk we headed home and mom and dad left for Deland. I, of course, faced another restless night of insomnia, restless leg and overall discomfort. I slept with my head at the foot of our bed and put the projector TV on the big wall. Around 4 am I started having contractions, I assumed they were Braxton-Hicks but when they didn’t go away I started to get worried. I hesitated to wake Rob up because poor guy hardly had any sleep over the weekend from his busy call to the baby shower and having family at home; it was just a packed couple of days but around 6 am I finally woke him up. We pillow talked for a while as I wanted to believe the contractions would go away and we started to discuss what our ‘plan’ was if I was in a labor. After a few tears from me and pain starting to become so intense we called dad and he confirmed that I was in labor with contractions 3-4 minutes apart.

Now the dilemma, do we try and make it to Deland and fight the 8 o’clock traffic through Orlando? Can we risk a uterine rupture? What do we do with Aliya? Nothing is packed, the house is a wreck, and I start to stress out and cry. We decided no matter what we choose to do we’d take Aliya to school so Rob goes to get her ready while I start to pack a hospital bag. The contractions start to get worse and closer together, and Rob is taking an awful long time getting Aliya ready. I wonder what is taking him so long and then he brings her into the bedroom to see me and I start to get annoyed because I am in pain and I want her to be in school so he can help me and get me to a hospital ASAP. And then I see her, my sweet little girl, her eye is swollen shut! Poor thing. She got some king of bug bite on her eye at the park the day before and her eye swelled closed in her sleep. Luckily she hardly notices so Rob gets her ready and drops her off while I am still packing stuff. The contractions are getting stronger and closer so we don’t attempt to head to Deland and decide to stay in Tampa much to my chagrin. Now which hospital do we go to? And what about Ali’s eye? We call Robs mom and ask her to pick up Aliya and take her to the pediatrician. Meanwhile I call the insurance company, who doesn’t answer, and everyone else we know to see which hospital is covered by our insurance. One of the hospitals is covered 100% since Rob is a USF resident but since we had no intentions of delivering in Tampa we didn’t bother to find out where. Now my contractions are 2-3 minutes apart. We figure the hospital is Tampa General which is 20 minutes away but I tell Rob to go for it, and then we realize we have no gas in the car! hmmmm… what a start to the morning. We stop for gas and head to the hospital in 8 o’clock traffic. I make Rob drive on the shoulder when traffic stops on the interstate because I was in too much pain. Needless to say we made it to Tampa General in record time.

When we get to the floor I asked to not have residents and they said no, I was so stressed out and in pain that I just broke down and cried again. Nothing was going right or as planned. NOTHING! Now I was in a hospital I didn’t know, going to have a baby before I was ready for him, by a resident that I didn’t trust. It was so stressful for me, luckily Rob was supportive and calm and talked me though everything because I was ready to leave and go to Deland! A first year resident came in and checked me and I was already at 4cm. At the same time Dad got a hold of the attending in charge, Dr. Cox, and updated her on my situation even before the resident had talked to her. It is amazing the quality of care you get when your dad is an OBGYN. Dr. Cox came in soon after to introduce herself and talk to me about my birthing plan, which is a c-section. She wanted me to consider a vbac and says my chances of a successful vbac are around 75%. Umm, No! I am getting a c-section, that’s the plan! Then dad calls me and is literally yelling at me. He says that labor will be fast because I was already at four and that I shouldn’t focus on instant gratification but at the recovery which will be so much easier with a VBAC, vaginal birth after caesarian. Deland doesn’t allow vbacs so it was never an option but here it was a possibility and dad and Rob were thrilled. I wasn’t. This was not part of my plan! I loved my c-section, I hated labor. I was terrified of pushing, tearing and pain. I am still having contractions and am at my limit stress wise. Why is this happening? I am so confused as to what to do, all I want is things to have gone as planned and here I am 3 weeks before he is due making decisions I had not even contemplated before this moment and all while having contractions ever 2-3 minutes. I turn to Rob and ask him to tell me what to do, my mind was just not working right. He says I should try the vbac and see how I progress and I can always decide for a c-section if I want one at any point. So that’s what we decided to do. A vbac. I can’t believe it still, that I had a vbac. Shocking, in a million years I never would have guessed that this was my path.

Epidural, now! That was my first priority. I actually got a great doctor who did it fast and didn’t make me contort my body in weird shapes to get it done. She kicked Rob out of the room which in this case is probably a good thing because with Aliya’s birth he laughed at me trying to arch my back since I was not able to do it quite right and told me that the needle is so big that’s its lucky I didn’t have to see it. Those words played like a broken record in my head during this epidural but as scary as it was it was totally worth it! Relief. ahhhh. Meanwhile SB Mom took Ali to pediatrician who said she was fine, more relief. Also Mom, Dad, Adam, Maa and Bapa all headed to hospital.

I finally relaxed and decided to embrace the vbac experience. It was an enjoyable labor. Our room was bright and pretty with a water view of Tampa bay. I was relaxed and comfortable, we just sat around and talked while my body worked on getting ready to have a baby. A few hours later they checked me and I was still at 4cm. Urg! I thought I was going to cry! I haven’t progressed at all! This sounds so familiar. It is what happened with Aliya and I ended up with a c-section, so frustrating! I was about to throw in the towel and go for the c-section when the resident said to give it a couple of more hours while they start pitocin. Since I was doing fine I thought I’d try and stick it out a while longer but I was pretty doubtful at this point that it was going to work. Now it was when I started pit with Aliya that her heart rate kept dropping but Kaden’s heart rate stayed up with the pit so I was able to get the benefits from it. Labor wasn’t as bad this time around, it wasn’t as tiring and the epidural was better, 18 hours after my contractions began I was complete and ready to push. What! I made it? Granted it was almost 10 pm but I still made it! Never, Never Never did I expect this to happen! Maa and Bapa took Ali home earlier in the evening and Mom, Dad, SB Mom, and Adam stuck around to watch this amazing child be brought into the world. They set up a mirror for me so I could watch too! Adam stayed on the couch by my head and so did Dad.

Pushing- the part I was not ready for. I was so scared of this, and didn’t think I’d be able to do it. I figured once I started to push it would be a millennium before I could muster the strength to push a baby out of me and that I’d probably run out of energy before then leading to the inevitable c-section. I don’t think I ever really believed I was going to vaginally deliver this baby until it happened, it was always in my head that it wouldn’t happen and I believed, I truly did, that a c-section was my path, no matter how much effort I put into the vbac. I started to push and within 10 minutes they started to gown up! I couldn’t believe it, they only start to gown up when you are almost ready to have the baby, wow, that was fast. The new attending in charge was Dr. Palmer. He was great, directing the resident so well and encouraging me to push. Pushing was hard, really hard. I never really tried to imagine what pushing would be like but I think if I had I wouldn’t have imagined it being as hard as it was. Its weird because there is pushing and there is PUSHING, the difference is that extra little oomph you place in it and that’s the part that’s hard. You have to push with more might and determination then you ever have before. Trying to get his head past my pubic bone was just really hard and frustrating. I know progress is made but when you watch the head descend during the push you feel so much satisfaction but watching in retreat in between contractions is like taking a step backwards and you think ‘aww man, I have to push him back down again!’ Watching that thick dark hair coming out was strange. I have seen hundreds of deliveries and seen that same image of the head crowning but it almost felt surreal when I looked into the mirror like I was playing back one of the previous deliveries I had seen instead of connecting it to being my son coming out of me. I think it was because of the concentration I was placing in the pushing and my mind working on one thing at a time. The next thing I know his head is out, then his body and they lay him on my chest, I did it. I can’t even fathom it now. I actually did it. I was planning on breastfeeding right away, for me this was the biggest negative to a c-section is waiting so long to hold and feed your child but this was instantaneous I got to hold him seconds after he was born, amazing. Unfortunate for me I had a tear, a big one and they started to repair it making it very difficult to bond with and feed my baby so I had them take him to do all the baby stuff they needed and wanted to do as my long arduous repair began.

I know everyone has to learn but I really didn’t want to be the one they learned on. I truly believe that my tear was from the residents inexperience and the hour it took to repair it was also from lack of experience. I also know Rob is a resident and I will be one soon so I should have more patience but I don’t. I am frustrated and annoyed. Dr. Palmer, the attending was great. He stood on top her and made sure the repair was going well. He checked her work and made her redo parts he found unacceptable. Granted I would have rather he did the repair but having him there making sure all well was very reassuring. It was also great that he stayed the entire time since it was past 10 at night.

Baby Boy Kent, as he was known as at the time, was born at 10:12pm, 6lbs 9oz, and 19inches long. He was amazing. His cry, his dark thick head of hair, his button nose, his scrawny legs and butt, his hairy back and face, his long finger nails and thin long fingers, his little umbilical cord, all of him was perfect.

Dad and Mom left after the birth to relieve Maa and Bapa who were home with Aliya so they could come meet the newest member of our family. Its amazing that in an instant you have this child and a whole new member of the family is created with his own space and place in it. Its strange because one day you wake up and can’t remember what life was like before these little people arrived. Its as if they were always there and always a part of the family. That’s what a new member of the family does they carve their way in; like water over a stone and before you know it they have engraved themselves into the family and their place becomes permanent and irreplaceable.

By the time we got into our recovery room it was almost 2 am. They needed to replace the Foley bag, which was removed during delivery, since my epidural had not worn off yet but I had the 2 most incompetent nurses who were unable to do it and had the worst sterile technique. Okay- one downfall to going to med school is knowing when someone is doing something so horribly wrong. There is a technique to opening sterile items to not get them contaminated and once sterile gloves are worn the only things you can touch with them on is other sterile items. I think my nurses had this backwards because the touched all the sterile items in the sterile pack before they had the sterile gloves on and then once they gloved up they touched everything that was contaminated! Rob had to hold back his laughter, frustration and disappointment. We weren’t so uptight about it because it was just a Foley bag placement but my God if they were doing something that really needed to be sterile, it would be tragic. BTW- I ended up with a UTI, so I guess it would have helped if even one of the times they cathed me or placed in a Foley someone followed sterile technique! Since they were unable to place the Foley they straight cathed me and I had 1100cc’s of urine. That’s more then double the normal amount that is considered the maximum amount that should be in the bladder.

Baby boy stayed in our room and we are so lucky it wasn’t busy at the hospital because we got one of the 3 large rooms which in my opinion were tiny but compared to the small rooms they were gigantic. Our room had 2 beds, so Rob had a place to sleep, a chair, a tray table and a small closet. The small rooms barley fit one bed and the tray table. Microscopic! I don’t think the baby’s bassinet would have even fit in there. Poor little boy wasn’t named yet either. We decided to not rush into it and really take our time instead of naming him on a whim like we did Aliya in the middle of the night after a stressful 21 hour labor.

I was instantly in love with my son. His little face was mesmerizing to me and I could stare at it for hours. I knew him right away. His hair was so silky soft. He picked up breastfeeding so fast, I am not sure if it was my experience or just him but wow he was great! He latched fantastically and suckled well from the beginning. My milk let down faster this time as well. He was just such a pro for being so little and brand new. Baby boys first night in the world was the same as Aliyas with Rob absolutely exhausted and knocked out and me trying to throw things at him to get him to bring me the crying baby so I could feed them. I can’t believe how asleep this man falls after his children are born, like a hibernating bear. Nothing can wake him. I first start with a ‘Rob’ in a whisper and by the 15th ‘ROB!’ I am just about yelling and still nothing. With Aliya I had a pair of socks to throw at him, this time a nurse walked in and Rob lucked out because the only thing I had in arms reach was a jug of water.

The next morning we woke up to doctors and nurses all doing rounds starting at 5:30 am. It’s the one fatal flaw in my opinion of hospitals, not for young healthy people like me but other hospital patients who really need rest and the constant disturbance of sleep delays the body in its recovery process. My epidural had worn off but I was still unable to pee so they placed in a Foley bag, this time my bladder had 1000cc’s of urine which was still really high but no one seemed overly concerned and assumed I would be able to pee at any moment. Anyway- this Tuesday was the highlight of my life. I can’t think of a day that I was happier because it was the day that Aliya met her baby brother. She came in with mom and maa, SB mom was already there. Rob had bought a stuffed turtle for her from the gift shop and when she walked into the hospital room she was a little hesitant about her surroundings but she was so excited to see me and Rob and loved her turtle. Then we showed her someone who would change her life from that moment, her baby brother. She was amazing. She came in and showered him with hugs and kisses. Her poor eye was still swollen but she was in a great mood. Being so young I was amazed how she got it. She knew this was her baby brother and not a random baby. She kept saying ‘baby brother’. She instantly fell in love with him just as I did. We tried to prep her for what to expect when I was pregnant but I didn’t think she was getting it; she proved me wrong by being so understanding to the situation. It was awesome! I have never been prouder of her, she even went shopping with Rob at Target later that day and only bought things for her baby brother.

Over the course of the next few days at the hospital Rob and I talked about names and we decided on Kaden Adam Kent. We had always loved the name Kaden which means ‘friend/companion’ in Arabic as a Muslim name and also means ‘warrior’ in Irish. Being Muslim and with Rob having Irish roots from his moms side of the family it seemed to work perfectly for us, plus it sounds so great Kaden Kent, it just flows. Adam is just such a beautiful name that fits into all societies so it was an obvious choice for a middle name. It is also a more traditional name if the name ‘Kaden’ is too trendy for him in the future, ‘Adam’ will never go out of style! Not to mention his uncle, who loves him very much, is named Adam.

Kaden was doing great and we knew we wanted to have him circumcised. I thought it’d be great to have it done at the hospital and just get it over with but the ARNP who performed them was a horrid witch of a lady that I would not ever let come near my child. Seriously she made me cry and feel so inferior when she came in to talk to us. I am still offended. I can’t believe someone can be that rude. Luckily, when I talked to Kadens pediatrician in the hospital he assured me that I was not alone in disliking that woman and offered to do Kadens circumcision. I was so relieved to have a nice competent person working on my son. My only request was that he be numbed up, I didn’t want him suffering through any pain. Not only was he numbed but they did the less aggressive bell plasty circumcision and gave him glucose water or as Dr. Holly called it, baby crack. Kaden cam back after the procedure completely calm and fine.

Kaden was discharged and the only thing left was for me to pee and I could be discharged. No matter how many times I tried and all the tricks I used I couldn’t pee. I relaxed, I read a magazine, I used a sitz bath, I used a squirt bottle with warm water, I listened to running water from the tap. I just couldn’t pee. IT WAS NOT PROFORMANCE ANXIETY! If someone else says that to me I could kill them. Listen, I know how to pee and I am not shy, that was NOT the issue. I just couldn’t do it. Finally, I convinced them to let me go home with a Foley bag, Rob and I were done with being at the hospital. Dad says in his 25,000 deliveries he has never had someone not be able to pee for no reason. It was very strange but we figured I’d be fine in a day or two. The exciting news was we got to bring our little pumpkin home! We didn’t make it home till almost midnight on Wednesday. Mom and maa had been staying home with Aliya while we were in the hospital they had cleaned the house and had done all the laundry and cooked awesome food. It was really nice to be home even with a Foley bag. There is nothing like sleeping in your own bed.

The next few days was getting everything ready for having baby home. SB mom came over and helped so very much with the organizing and cleaning. She also kept Aliya at her house while we got adjusted over the next few days with having little Kaden home. She took Aliya shopping when she had her and Aliya walked through the toy isle saying Yayas toys but when she came across an Elmo teether she said ‘baby brothers toy’. She carried it home for him and gave it to him as soon as she saw him. Over the next few days if she ever saw him without it she’d go run and find it to bring it to him. It was so adorable.

I was in a lot of pain from the tear and having a lot of burning. I couldn’t do much at all. I am so lucky to have a family who is there for us when we need them and even luckier to have an amazing husband who took care of everything, EVERYTHING, for me. He is so amazing. I never want to take him for granted but he is so solid and a rock through everything that you almost forget how stressful this all was on him. We decided to remove the Foley on Saturday and again assumed I’d be able to pee. I couldn’t. This not peeing thing was a real strain on me. Especially since no one could explain why it was happening to me. After hours of not peeing we ended up in the ER for a Foley replacement. We waited a few more days and took it out again because my urine was so bloody, again assuming by now I’d be able to pee. Nope. So we bought some straight caths and Rob cathed me very 4-6 hours for days. This is the type of husband he is, he woke up every night at 3 am to cath me so my bladder would not distend. I tried to pee every time I was cathed to no avail. I was getting really disheartened. We decided to see a urologist. He did a cystoscopy and everything checked out okay. I had some trauma to the bladder and some muscle soreness and pain in the area but no reason I should not be able to pee. He had no answers as to why for me but was very optimistic that the problem would resolve on its own. At this point I was really frustrated and upset. I did some research on the internet and found a forum of women discussing this exact issue which they all had. Wow, I wasn’t alone! It was fantastic reading their stories that mimicked mine. I took in every word and read and reread the 40 pages of post that spanned over 4 years. Each woman writing her story and updates I was able to follow their path from urinary retaintion to healing. From all the stories only 1 never was able to pee after 14 months. All the others recovered 100%. I felt so relieved. It looked as if the recovery would take 2-6 months. Finally an answer as to a time line of when this issue would resolve. With Rob headed back to work in a week I knew I needed to learn to self cath. I read up on some tips and tricks and when I tried to do it, I could! It was so cool and I had such a sense of independence. Knowing it was going to still take weeks to pee on my own I was not very optimistic when I tried to pee but I tried every time and then it happened! The day after I learned to self cath I PEED! Let me tell you the sense of relief to be able to do something that we all take for granted. There is nothing like peeing. It was unbelievable painful to pee for the first few days but totally worth it! Yay me! It was awesome and it was only after 2 and a half weeks instead of months!

3 weeks out from the delivery, May 15th, Kadens due date, Kaden sleeps 23 of the 24 hours in a day but is an integral part of our family and home. We have found he likes to cry at the most inopportune times and loves to be held. Aliya is home with us and her baby brother, she is still adjusting but she loves him very much and is always giving him hugs and kisses. Rob started work today, and I miss having him home with me. We went to Busch Gardens yesterday and we were sitting in a show with Rob holding Aliya in his lap and I had Kaden in mine next to them. I felt complete. It was such a euphoric feeling and I knew at that moment that I was as happy as I’d ever be. I wanted to put a bubble around us and stay there forever. We are a real family and the future watching these two grow up is so exhilarating.